I held my third photo exhibit in Ginza where it is flooded with Christmas decorations.

I am fondly remembering with affection the people who embraced me and my work during those cold late autumn days.Now it has become a complete past.
The sunlight found its way into the valley of buildings and painted our surroundings with lively colors.
Though the light ever changing according to time had passed through the gallery, I can not recollect each moment with actuality.The energy brought forth through my body... it has emerged and gone.
Everything had disappeared as though it was a dream.

I was under emotional stress and agony like trying to untie an extremely tight knot while preparing for my exhibit.I was surprised to find myself trying to control my violent emotions during that time.It seemed to me that the only way, perhaps, to get out of the agony is to savor it.
I suspect we are clad in armor of logos.
Is there any value in staying calm?
Is it necessary to confine the emotional expressions like crying or shouting as immature?

I've quit to restrain my emotions all the more.

Though we dream of never having a wall against
All that must flow and pass, and cannot be caught,
An ever-welcoming self that is not fenced,
Yet we are tethered still to another thought:
The undsheltered cannot shelter, the exposed
Exposes others; the wide open door
Means nothing if it cannot be closed.

Those who create real havens are not free.
Hold fast, maintain, are rooted, dig deep wells;
Whatever haven human love may be,
There is no freedom without sheltering walls.
And when we imagine wings that come and go
What we see is a house, and a wide-open window.

Of Havens./ May Sarton

Deep in December
Noriko Kawamura : from Tokyo Japan

I like June rain. It's a harbinger of great summer. Besides the gentle smell of trees it produces calms my mind. In drizzly nights even the city noise of Tokyo would be absorbed into the sky.

When I play a CD of piano sonatas in small sound in a quiet night, the air begins to move slowly, making right-handed rotations repeatedly.

Among the gentle atmosphere the analog clock keeps moving it's second hand at accurate pace. When I enjoy a nice cup of coffee during a break I feel its warmth spreads throgh my entire body.

Trying to prepare for my photo exhibit in November I find my mind becoming impatient or getting loose, being glad or sad. These works of my own mind is totally unpredictable, or I can't even remember how it went from one extreme to another. When I talk about "preparing" for exhibit it means thnking. Most of the time will be spent on thinking, or rather, tracing the contour of my own emotion.

My photos are something which were merely taken out of my ordinaly life. There are no obvious theme or concept in them. I would just have to go on thinking what my mind has perceived or what I thought about social conditions.

Though my existance is small I have a lively functioning mind. This mind guides me to ....

It would direct my attention to the swinging leaves of a camphor tree in a breaze or the dazzling blue sky high above. Most of the day I spend my time talking to something quietly. Even in the little square of the window frame there would be dramas worth paying attention to.

As I am watching the graceful movement of a branch, a little bird comes flying to the feeding place of veranda. While I am enjoying the lovely movement of the bird the rain gets stronger and the movement of branch changes with it.

In the pots of various sizes plants I planted whimsically are growing. More than anything else I can't wait to see the Kunugi grow that accidentally came about from the soil I brought from mountain. The thin and supple branch looks so beautiful I can watch it forver.

The acorn which my son buried its seed carefully under fallen leaves at the end of last autumn has grown to height of a foot. When I look at the tree I can see my son's tiny hands. The hands full of leaves with autumn colors.

What was this 7 year old thinking when he collected those leaves? I, as mother, can only guess it.

My typical day consists of labor to earn a wage, taking care of my kids, and meditation for the creative work.

On a rainy night in June
Noriko KAWAMURA : from Tokyo JAPAN